For those residing under rocks or in Neverland, on or about April 15th, you will be expected to pony up an excessively high percentage of your hard-earned income to Uncle Sam or to his state and municipal imitators.
Of course, if youre among the 35% or so of Americans who are living scotfree of income taxes, youre in like Flynn on April 15th, exempt from what Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. called, the price we pay for civilization, what 21st century taxpayers would call an inordinate charge, which taxpayers would call the people who dont pay any income taxes leeches.
What better word describes people who suck at the public teat and who contribute nothing toward the the sustenance of that teat?
Still, theres even more bad news for us honest taxpayers: For those who havent noticed, income taxes are just the beginining. In governmental sleights of hand designed to make us schlups think the IRS and its state counterparts are the only governmental pocket-pickers and to convince us that taxes are really in the publics best interests, the feds, states, and localities have cooked up all kinds of thievery.
Ken and Daria Dolan outline just some of those tricks of the governmental trade.
Take, for instance, what are termed sin taxes, financial penalties for what bureaucrats deem activities detrimental to our health and moral well being. Testimony to political hypocrisy, the imposition of such behavioral taxes presupposes the moral superiority of the imposers who, all too often, are imposters.
The Dolans cite levies on liquor, gambling, and smoking but include in other categories taxes on equally sinful pursuits such as strip shows and the like as well as taxes on those who indulge in a friendly game of poker with playing cards. Utah is taxing strip joints 10%, to include all ancillary profits therefrom, and Alabama wants a dime but only for every deck of 54 cards or less.
The chief fallacy concerning all taxes is that they invariably fall on the consumer, not on the strippers or purveyors of the products or services. Companies and corporations dont really pay taxes. Whether oil companies or banks or mom and pop stores, when their costs rise, they simply raise prices and pay additional levies out of profits.
The Dolans also reference taxes that can only be described as exercises in municipal greed, the absurdity of which is only exceeded by their venality.
Kentucky is now taxing goodies classified as candy, but not all candy and not all candied products: Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and breakfast bars are on the C-list, Milky Ways and cereals like Count Chocula are not. You see, the latter are much more nutritious. As with Alabama playing cards, you expected common sense from politicians?
Easily the most nonsensical assessments come to us from Mayor Bloombergs Tax Capital of the Universe, New York City, where Americas foremost nanny mayor is now taxing haunted houses, bagel-eaters, and accident victims.
As if Big Apple residents and visitors arent already paying through the nose, Broadway shows are exempted but if a haunted house features music and charges more than 10 cents admission its hit with a sales tax. If a patron of a bagel shop consumes his circular goody on site, the bagel is exmpt; if he takes it home, its taxed. If the N.Y.C. Fire Department responds to an accident scene, the victims are fined $500. since the NYCFD has better things to do than deal with such trivia.
Kings County, Seattle does the crash tax one better.
If you die in Seattle, you wont be fined. Thats the good news. If you die in Seattle and your survivors cant or wont cough up fifty bucks for reporting your demise to the medical examiner, you wont get buried. That would be just fine for the vampire set but could become a sticky wicket for Seattleites when all those bodies start piling up.
Taxes may be the price we pay for civilization but when that price exceeds the value of the civilization were getting and when taxation becomes a substitute for good and rational government, its time we all join the Tea Party.
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